#MotherStories: Becoming #hopelesshoper

I truly can’t remember when it was that I became a #hopelesshoper – the kind of hoper that cant help herself, hopelessly hoping even when it means you’ll get hurt. I think it happened sometime between getting married and the last fertility treatment. I mean, I stood at that altar facing a man I’d only really started getting to know 10 months before. And in knowing him, loving him, #newhope sprang (or springed??) to life on my dream of #motherhood. 🌸

You see, I’d knelt at a different altar 3 short years before with a heart in full surrender, believing with my whole spirit , mind and body that answering a #calltoministry meant giving up my dream of being a mother. I was certain in that moment on my knees that in honoring what I knew God wanted for me I was giving up one of my most long held dreams. 🌸

But here I was, a near Seminary grad, marrying a farm boy from Alberta, and together already #dreamingofbabies 🌸

That day we both thought that our obedience – how we had lived to that point – assured our dream of being parents wouldn’t be long off. Hope. Dreams of family.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4