HopelessHoper

I wrote this first in Spring 2007, trying to figure out how to really celebrate Mothers Day  in the Church, a place which should feel like the most safe and inclusive place on the planet but doesn’t for many.  How can we NOT recognize the blessing of mothers, many who selflessly give up all for the people they love.  How can we NOT celebrate that God, who in his infinite creative wisdom, gave humans the chance to share in the wonder of being part-creator alongside Him.  How c

Here I was, all set today to finally pull myself up and talk about the good things that adoption has brought to my life. It is Adoption Awareness Month after all. It’s hard though to do that, because I feel so much like walking on eggshells because so many are grieving their losses in adoption right now. And I respect that. Acknowledge that. I have been enjoying the posts of many parents who speak so eloquently about the children they are blessed to parent because of adoption

“This child should be here but her path went another way, to heaven instead of to earth.” I’m sitting here in the cold, hugging my babies to keep us warm. Our heater went out. Not a good thing in the winter in Canada. It is VERY cold! But hugging my babies, well, that’s the perk. I’m trying to soak it all in with them right now. A good friend, who has suffered a big loss this year, reminded me earlier to do that, to not let the regret get in the way of thankfulness. I’m tryin

I have spent a good deal of the last several hours thinking about Jamie-Noel, who would be three today if she had lived longer than the 10 weeks she did in my womb. I miss her… I wish she were here to enjoy life in our family, to experience the sunshine and rain right along with us. And today as I traveled the highway to yet another follow-up ultrasound for this wretched endo (yes, I still have cysts or a “mass”, now we wait again to see what will happen next), I couldn’t hel